mountain waymarking nonsense

Sat, Aug 29, 2009

Yes it is the “silly season” as it’s known in journalistic circles, when parliament are off on their hols and the news is sluggish, so the media turn to the weird and wonderful to keep the papers shifting off the shelves. This time it’s that old chestnut of “making the mountains safer”, to paraphrase some apparently hillwalking hack called MacWhirter. He has nothing better to do than knock up a article on waymarking Scottish mountains, to make the “mass participation” sport of hillwalking less “elitist and nihilisitc”. To quote the hack in question. Obviously the MCofS take a different view. MacWhirter’s evidence that we, the hillwalking masses, are elitist and nihilistic is based on the vast network of paths in places such as Bavaria and the Alps, where visitors are treated to a well documented, marked and easy to follow network of walking paths in the mountains. In short, they are spoon fed their scenery. Also, these paths more often than not, link up manned mountain huts, so the distances over which walkers must traverse “wild” country is minimal compared to the Scottish highlands. Throw in the continental weather pattern of long periods of settled weather followed by well forecast storms that last a day or two and you can pretty much guarantee those paths will be empty during bad weather. Most people just don’t go out on a bad day in the Alps.

But MacWhirter is adamant that I, as a mountaineer, am a nihilistic eilitist. Despite the fact I lead people in the mountains, teach them to navigate and impart to them the tons of enthusiasm I have for wild places and everything in them. Pointless, says the hack. He wants paths. He doesn’t want to engage a knowledgeable guide who can help him enjoy the mountains on his own. He wants his scenery spoon fed to him. In short, he doesn’t want to suffer the consequences of his own actions. He doesn’t want to take decisions and be responsible for their outcome. He just wants a spoon feeding session and someone to blame when he gets lost.

And we all know how these people love the courts. Love the sound of their own voice and their pompous image on every newspaper in the land. No-one wants to take responsibility for anything any more. Even judges. We see this happening on the roads. There is no legal requirement for a cyclist to use a cycle lane. None at all. Yet the bewigged masses will come down on the side of the motorist if they hit a cyclist who was cycling, perfectly legally, on the road, when there was an adjacent cycle lane. Never mind the fact an out of control motorist could quite as easily have hit the cyclist on the path. It just so happens they hit them before swerving across the road and onto the path. The fact there’s a cycle lane next to the road is of no consequence at all but it gives weak minded people a way out of their responsibility of driving with due care and attention.

So now transfer that culture to the mountains. Build waymarked paths. Walking lanes of the hills if you will. You can see what’s coming:

“m’lud, I tripped on a rock and sprained my ankle”

“‘’tis indeed a serious situation Mr. Mountain Leader. Why were you not on the waymarked path adjacent to your route of ascent?”

Where on earth are these paths to be built? Where will the cairns go? Who decides what a “safe” route looks like? Presumably someone would have to, otherwise anyone could build a path anywhere. As stated by the MCofS, Ben Nevis has a dirty great path up it and still people get lost. Still people fall off cliffs next to paths. People take the wrong path when there are too many. Some people demolish cairns as they believe they shouldn’t be there. Lightning strikes cairns and they are no more. Who maintains this proliferation of paths and cairns?

The hack reckons the mountains will be safe with paths but he’s fallen in the classic situation of forgetting the most important bit of the puzzle. The wet squidgy bit being carried around on the top of an obeying body. The brain! Where it says to go, the body will follow. I’ve been so tired I couldn’t count. I couldn’t recognise contours on a map, couldn’t tell which was up or down on the ground in a whiteout but due to the effort I’ve taken to turn myself into a nihilist and an elitist I could draw on decades of experience to get me down. MacWhirter, in saying to people, “I have fashioned this wonderful network of paths, go enjoy the hills”, is being at best irresponsible. At worst criminally negligent.

Soon enough his ilk will disappear as the government of this wacky country comes back and we’re subjected to another round of pointless soundbites from that other lot of nihilistic elitists.